Sinns

29 Apr 2019 Ref-No#: 1580

Assalamu alaalikum va Rakhmatullohi va barakatuh.
Dear brother, I am 22 years old, I am a student, and at this time I am in Moscow. I have very serious spiritual problems. I do not know how to solve them how to be very hard for me, help me for the sake of Almighty Allah if you can. I have two main problems which are related to one another, which I know the root of the problem and the solution almost but I don’t know how to solve.1. In the last time I sleep a lot and because of this I often miss the morning prayer. Sometimes I sleep at 9 even 10 o’clock but for some reason I can not get enough sleep. Earlier when I was in the Homeland (a year ago), I slept on average 7 hours, sometimes 6-6.5 maximum 8 and I could easily get up at prayer anytime, although this is an hour before prayer or half an hour. Koren problems is that because of my studies, I have a very un-normalized sleep schedule. I sometimes come home for 23-24 hou rs and since I live in a hostel I will have to prepare to eat and then sleep. That is, there is no definite period of time in which I slept every day and woke up so that I had a balance in my body. The other root is my sins (the second problem). Right now I’m trying to sleep after the morning prayer, because now at 3 am we begin to pray. But I have a hard time holding myself up to prayer and I cannot do anything useful in this mode. That is, for me, the time is running out so simple (which I really miss) why not.2. I am a young unmarried guy. Alhamdulilloh I do not condo, I do not drink, I do not smoke. But the environment in which I live greatly influences me. I live in a dorm alone in one room. And in our floor there are many rooms where girls live. It is very hard for me to restrain myself. And when I go out on the street, you just understand horror. Girls almost go naked, very opening form. Naphs very much wants to be bastard looking at their bare legs and good figures. That is a lot of fitn around which you can get into sin at any moment. I try very hard to restrain myself and struggle with my nafs, but unfortunately I don’t have to be easy. And I am very ashamed to talk about it, but I often have to masturbate and even watch forbidden films. I just feel terrible and terrible and terribly ashamed. I sometimes get to win not to masturbate for example 10-15 days but it’s still the same again and the worst thing is watching porn.But I can’t tell my mum straight. I will say that the situation is very bad I need to somehow get married but women do not understand the passion of young guys for women. But she, too, can be understood as she works for us poor, that is, financially support me. Father to regret in the prison. Because of this, I can’t marry. I sometimes want to marry secretly in order to avoid all these sins and be a good Muslim and a slave before Allah. Because I tried several times to talk with my mother she would never give her consent until I work to collect money and then get married. And it will be at least in 1-2 years. But what should I do in these years? What if I die during these years? What will I be responsible to Allah for these sins? But on the other hand, to find a girl who doesn’t have at least a guy in Moscow is very difficult. Yes, and try to make it a Muslim. And if you look for a Muslim woman, then it is very difficult and no one will give you a daughter just like that.In terms of worldly knowledge, I am a programmer and alhamdulilloh who gave me such a mind and knowledge, I more or less know it. In terms of religious knowledge, I am also trying to learn something. I can read the Qur’an (with tajvid), but unfortunately I do not read much, even taught some time to my acquaintances. Now I begin to learn the Arabic language itself. I listen to audio lessons on aqyda, sire, tasavufe.

You see, I am so bored with these sins that sometimes I don’t see myself very much and do not want to live in this world anymore because I sin. I want to quickly end this world, I would be punished enough that I had committed my sins and would rather go to eternal life in Paradise.Due to the fact that I have more or less enough knowledge than my friends and most of my relatives and the fact that I help them as much as I can, they respect and consider me. In collective prayers to plant me imams, although every time I do not regret being one, because knowing my sins I am ashamed and I know that I am not worthy of being an imam. But I myself know how much I am a sinful person.I am very, very ashamed and sad. I do not know how to solve these problems. Sometimes you want to give up what I am learning right now and go to study the religion of Allah and spread them. Because I have a mind that Allah did not give to many and with the help of which I can more easily learn something fa ster than many others. But as a difficult situation in the dad’s mom dad works. I love my profession, of course, not so much as studying religion and the religion itself, and I want to find a job as soon as possible (a very high probability that I will find this summer) and that mother stop working for kafirs and work with my little sister (6 years). And to improve their financial problems and also to help many others that they now really need support.I still did not tell these problems to anyone because I am ashamed and I know that they are not able to help me. If you can help please.
Jazakalohu Hiran.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Alhamdulillāh, we are glad to note that you have the concern (fikr) of performing your obligations and for fear of committing sins.  May Allah make it easy for you.

If you are sleeping at 21:00-22:00, and sunrise currently in Moscow is only at 4:50 am, you will be getting sufficient sleep. Missing Fajr is no excuse. 

Firstly, you need to implore Allah to bless you with the ability of performing Fajr Salah. Continuously recite the following Dua:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ 

(Rabbi-j-‘alnī muqeema-s-salaati wa min dhurriyatee, rabbanas wa taqabbal du’aa),
“Oh my dear Lord, make me a person who establishes prayer and also make my offspring the same.  Our Lord, please accept my invocation” (Qur’ān 14:40)

Also, recite the last Ruku of Surah Kahaf when going to sleep, and make the firm intention of waking up at Fajr.

On a practical level, try the following

1.      Set a few alarms

2.      Keep an alarm clocks far away from your bed so that you have to get out of bed to switch it off.

3.      Avoid drinking many liquids, and do not eat anything for atleast 2 hours before going in bed,

4.      Try to siesta (small nap/Qaylullah) in the afternoon. This should be between 20 minutes to 45 minutes

5.      Before retiring to bed, beg Allah to forgive you for all the sins you committed and make sincere Dua to Allāh Ta’ala that He helps to you wake up on time.

If all the above still does not work, the we suggest you also seek medical advise.

As for the second issue, first we advise you to fast. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said,

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ (أخرجه مسلم)

“0h young men, whoever from you can support a wife, then let him marry, for marriage restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and saves one from immorality. However, that person who is unable to marry should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.” (Saheeh Muslim)4

With this, try to spend more of your time in the Masjid, rather than staying alone in your room.

Remember, this world is a test, and Allah tests every person in different ways. The devil will constantly try to lead you astray, and always keep in mind the following narration:

عن أبي هريرة، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ” سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله، يوم لا ظل إلا ظله: الإمام العادل، وشاب نشأ في عبادة ربه، ورجل قلبه معلق في المساجد، ورجلان تحابا في الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه، ورجل طلبته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال، فقال: إني أخاف الله، ورجل تصدق، أخفى حتى لا تعلم  شماله ما تنفق يمينه، ورجل ذكر الله خاليا ففاضت عيناه (أخرجه البخاري في صحيحه 1/133

“There will be seven people who Allah will give Shade to when there will be no shade but that of His (i. e. on the Day of Judgment, and they are): a just ruler, a young boy who grew up in the worship of Allah; a person whose heart is attached to the Masjid; two people who love for the sake of Allah, they meet each other and depart from each other only for His sake; a man whom a beautiful woman of high rank seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying):” I fear Allah” ; a person who gives charity and conceals it (to such an extent) that the right hand does not know what the left has given: and a person who remembered Allah in privacy and his eyes shed tears.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

References

Alhamdulillāh, we are glad to note that you have the concern (fikr) of performing your obligations and for fear of committing sins.  May Allah make it easy for you.

If you are sleeping at 21:00-22:00, and sunrise currently in Moscow is only at 4:50 am, you will be getting sufficient sleep. Missing Fajr is no excuse. 

Firstly, you need to implore Allah to bless you with the ability of performing Fajr Salah. Continuously recite the following Dua:

رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ 

(Rabbi-j-‘alnī muqeema-s-salaati wa min dhurriyatee, rabbanas wa taqabbal du’aa),
“Oh my dear Lord, make me a person who establishes prayer and also make my offspring the same.  Our Lord, please accept my invocation” (Qur’ān 14:40)

Also, recite the last Ruku of Surah Kahaf when going to sleep, and make the firm intention of waking up at Fajr.

On a practical level, try the following

1.      Set a few alarms

2.      Keep an alarm clocks far away from your bed so that you have to get out of bed to switch it off.

3.      Avoid drinking many liquids, and do not eat anything for atleast 2 hours before going in bed,

4.      Try to siesta (small nap/Qaylullah) in the afternoon. This should be between 20 minutes to 45 minutes

5.      Before retiring to bed, beg Allah to forgive you for all the sins you committed and make sincere Dua to Allāh Ta’ala that He helps to you wake up on time.

As for the second issue, first we advise you to fast. The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said,

عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، قَالَ قَالَ لَنَا رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏ “‏ يَا مَعْشَرَ الشَّبَابِ مَنِ اسْتَطَاعَ مِنْكُمُ الْبَاءَةَ فَلْيَتَزَوَّجْ فَإِنَّهُ أَغَضُّ لِلْبَصَرِ وَأَحْصَنُ لِلْفَرْجِ وَمَنْ لَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ فَعَلَيْهِ بِالصَّوْمِ فَإِنَّهُ لَهُ وِجَاءٌ (أخرجه مسلم)

“0h young men, whoever from you can support a wife, then let him marry, for marriage restrains eyes (from casting evil glances) and saves one from immorality. However, that person who is unable to marry should observe fast for it is a means of controlling the sexual desire.” (Saheeh Muslim)4

With this, try to spend more of your time in the Masjid, rather than staying alone in your room.

Remember, this world is a test, and Allah tests every person in different ways. The devil will constantly try to lead you astray, and always keep in mind the following narration:

عن أبي هريرة، عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ” سبعة يظلهم الله في ظله، يوم لا ظل إلا ظله: الإمام العادل، وشاب نشأ في عبادة ربه، ورجل قلبه معلق في المساجد، ورجلان تحابا في الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه، ورجل طلبته امرأة ذات منصب وجمال، فقال: إني أخاف الله، ورجل تصدق، أخفى حتى لا تعلم  شماله ما تنفق يمينه، ورجل ذكر الله خاليا ففاضت عيناه (أخرجه البخاري في صحيحه 1/133

“There will be seven people who Allah will give Shade to when there will be no shade but that of His (i. e. on the Day of Judgment, and they are): a just ruler, a young boy who grew up in the worship of Allah; a person whose heart is attached to the Masjid; two people who love for the sake of Allah, they meet each other and depart from each other only for His sake; a man whom a beautiful woman of high rank seduces (for illicit relation), but he (rejects this offer by saying):” I fear Allah” ; a person who gives charity and conceals it (to such an extent) that the right hand does not know what the left has given: and a person who remembered Allah in privacy and his eyes shed tears.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)