Polygamie

12 Jun 2019 Ref-No#: 1913

Salemalaykom wa rahma Allah wa Barakatuh
My question is about my marriage, my husband wants a second wife.
I am not against polygamy, but he does not run the whole household, I have to do it by default and work outside the family home.
I wonder if I am not able to live this life with him without it changing my intentions and feelings towards this marriage. I am very jealous and impatient.
My husband does not reproach me for anything, he tells me that he is satisfied with me and that I am a good woman I do not refuse him anything, Al Hamdoulillah. is he right in this matter to be just and so am I, knowing the punishment of Allah if he makes that choice, are we really ready for it?
I ask the shaikh to better advise me and my husband. Jazekom Allah Khair
Salemalaykom wa rahma Allah wa Barakatuh

Answer

Polygamy is permissible in Islam, and no one can object to it. Having jealousy is natural, and even the most noble of all women; the honourable wives of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam), had their fair share of uneasiness towards their co-wives. No person can deprive a husband from this divine right ordained directly by Allah.

However, your husband will have to be sure that he is able to fulfill the rights of both his spouses. It is the husbands duty to provide for the wife, and he needs to attend to all the chores which need to be done out of the home. When taking a second wife, the husband has to provide both wives with equal accomadation, clothing, meals and spending.

If your husband is not fulfilling his duties with one wife, then he should first try to get his life in order, before considering a second wife. If he really is satisfied with you, then on what basis does he want the second wife?

On the other hand, if he is confident that he will maintain equality and fulfil his duties, then we advise you to be strong and patient, and rather see how you can live amicably with this woman, rather than taking revenge by opting out of the marriage. Whilst we do understand the bitterness that you feel, we should be happy with the laws and rights which have been revealed by our creator.

 

References

فإن كان له أكثر من امرأة ، فعليه العدل بينهن في حقوقهن من القسم والنفقة والكسوة ، وهو التسوية بينهن في ذلك حتى لو كانت تحته امرأتان حرتان أو أمتان يجب عليه أن يعدل بينهما في المأكول والمشروب والملبوس والسكنى والبيتوتة.  (بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع – 6/ 166)

(يجب) وظاهر الآية أنه فرض نهر (أن يعدل) أي أن لا يجور (فيه) أي في القسم بالتسوية في البيتوتة (وفي الملبوس والمأكول) والصحبة (لا في المجامعة) كالمحبة بل يستحب. ويسقط حقها بمرة ويجب ديانة أحيانا  (رد المحتار – 3/ 201)