Father insisting to get divorced

21 Aug 2019 Ref-No#: 2134

Assalamualaikum.I’m a muslim 24year old girl following hanafi madhab.2years ago i married a man without the consent of wali who is a good man.he performs prayer in masjid.we wanted that 2years later we would marry again with the consent of wali.we didn’t act as husband and wife.our marriage is not consummated.he lives in another country for livelihood.now he came to our country and wants to marry.but my father is not accepting him though he now found out about the marriage.i prayed istikhara and felt that i should not hurt him.my brother who is quran hafiz prayed istikhara and got positive feelings.my mother also felt same.my father prayed and 1st day he saw a dream of a white paper came from abroad.he couldn’t read what is written in it.2nd and 3rd day he prayed but had no feelings.the 4th day he saw a dream.a paddy field, and a Rail line. 2man coming.then 2 snakes.suddenly a dog bite a snake.then 2 women have fallen in the field.all he wants from me to get divorced from that man.he would rather not get me married than accepting that man .because the man is not from same social status of us! He has lower financial condition than my family and have no fame, he is in normal profession etc.But actually he is able to bear my costs.now what can i do please give some advice.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Nikah is a major step in one’s life. One should always consult with ones elders when undertaking this great journey. It is for this reason that Islam has placed emphasis on announcing a Nikah.

In principle, a adult female can marry herself without the consent of her guardian, on condition that the husband is of equal standing to her. If the male has a lower status than the girl, and it will bring embarrassment to the family, then the guardian of the girl can object to the Nikah, and the Nikah will be invalid.

You should first ask your local scholars to determine whether your husband is a Kufw (of equal standing) to you. If he is, then, if there were two witnesses, the Nikah is valid. You should now try to get your fathers blessings, by getting some senior members in the family or community to speak to him. If he is still not convinced, it will be entirely up to your husband whether he prefers to divorce you, or keep you in his wedlock.

References

الثاني: المال إلا رواية عن أبي يوسف رحمه الله رواها ابن زياد أن الكفاءة في المال غير معتبرة، وفي ظاهر الرواية معتبرة، والمعتبر فيه القدرة على المهر والنفقة، ولا تعتبر الزيادة على ذلك حتى إن من كان قادراً على المهر والنفقة كان كفئاً لها وإن كانت صاحبة أموال كثيرة وهو الصحيح من المذهب، وإن كان يقدر على نفقتها بالتكسُّب ولا يقدر على مهرها اختلف فيه المشايخ: عامتهم على أن لا يكون كفئاً لها، وذكر هشام في «نوادره» عن أبي يوسف رحمه الله رواية أخرى أنه إذا كان قادراً على العمل فهو كفء لها، قال شيخ الإسلام رحمه الله: وهو الصحيح، وعن أبي حنيفة رحمه الله فيه أنه كفء لها، هكذا روي عن محمد، وروي عن أبي يوسف روايتان ذكره البقالي في «فتاويه».

وفي «المنتقى» عن محمد رحمه الله: أنه إذا كان للرجل المهر والنفقة لستة أشهر فهو كفء، والقياس: نفقة شهر. وفيه أيضاً: إذا كان يجد نفقة المرأة ولا يجد نفقة نفسه فهو كفء.

ثم إنما تعتبر القدرة على النفقة إذا كانت المرأة كبيرة أو صغيرة تصلح للجماع (المحيط البرهاني – 3/ 93)

 (كتاب النكاح) باب في الأولياء والأكفاء:

وينعقد نكاح الحرة العاقلة البالغة برضاها وإن لم يعقد عليها ولى بكرا كانت أو ثيبا عند أبي حنيفة وأبي يوسف “رحمهما الله” في ظاهر الرواية… ( الهداية في شرح بداية المبتدي – 1/ 191)