Divorce regarding disobedient wife

03 Jun 2018 Ref-No#: 715

Assalamu alaykum,

A wife is disobedient, caused pain & distress to husband for several years. She left husband’s house along with daughter to live with parents without husband’s permission & it has been more than a year now. Family & husband tried to convince her to come back but in vain. The couple dont talk anymore. Is nikah valid & is divorce applicable here? What would u advice? Husband no longer want to pursue this relationship

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wabarakatuhu,

It is not permissible for a wife to leave her marital home without the consent of her husband. Numerous warnings have been stated regarding such a woman. Islamically, she is termed as a Naashizah. In such a case, she loses all her spousal rights.

Inspite of there being no contact between the spouses, the Nikah is still valid. No divorce takes place by merely being far from each other.

As for providing advise on your specific case, due to the minimal information provided in your question, as well as not knowing the wifes version, it will be difficult for me to comment. Moreso since a child is involved. However, I suggest that you follow the guidelines mentioned in verse 35 of Surah an-Nisaa, where in Allah says:

 وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَابْعَثُوا حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَا إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمَا ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا (35)

This means that each spouse should get a arbitrator from their respective sides to discuss the issues. It will be good if a local ‘Alim can also be called.

In this meeting, the wife should explain why she behaved in that way, what prompted her to go away, and what does she want for the future. In turn, the husband can explain his concerns, and the arbitrators can advise if there is a solution. If they really do want a solution, Allah will guide them. But if the arbitrators feel that its better to break this marriage, then the husband can issue one Talaaq Rajee.

References

 من لم يقربها أربعة أشهر أو أكثر بلا يمين، فإنه بمضيّ أربعة أشهر لا يقع شيئ (العناية (512/2)

دس سال تک بہی بیوی کے قریب نہ جاۓ تو نہ طلاق ھوگی اور نہ ایلاء کیونکہ ایلاء بننے کیلۓ قسم وغیرہ کے الفاظ ضروری ہیں (خير الفتاوي (52/6)

( قَوْلُهُ لَا نَاشِزَةٍ ) بِالْجَرِّ عَطْفٌ عَلَى الزَّوْجَةِ أَيْ لَا تَجِبُ النَّفَقَةُ لِلنَّاشِزَةِ وَهِيَ فِي اللُّغَةِ الْعِصَابَةُ عَلَى الزَّوْجِ الْمُبْغِضَةُ لَهُ ، يُقَالُ نَشَزَتْ الْمَرْأَةُ عَلَى زَوْجِهَا فَهِيَ نَاشِزَةٌ ، وَعَنْ الزَّجَّاجِ النُّشُوزُ يَكُونُ بَيْنَ الزَّوْجَيْنِ وَهِيَ كَرَاهَةُ كُلِّ وَاحِدٍ مِنْهُمَا صَاحِبَهُ كَذَا فِي الْمُغْرِبِ وَفِي الشَّرْعِ كَمَا قَالَ الْإِمَامُ الْخَصَّافُ الْخَارِجَةُ عَنْ مَنْزِلِ زَوْجِهَا الْمَانِعَةُ نَفْسَهَا مِنْهُ
(البحر الرائق  (11/ 248)