Corrected waswaas question

29 Mar 2019 Ref-No#: 1494

Asalamu alaykum

I posed a similar question before but I made an error before so please could mufti review my question

Asalamu alaykum mufti
I am hanafi

When I was really young- at the age of 9 perhaps, I developed this intense fear of my mother passing away. At that age I was too young to understand that Allah controls and has written when and who will pass away…from the age of 9 till I was about 11 I would seldomly make statements that if I don’t walk up and down the stairs 3 times my mummy would die…if I use a certain book to color in my mummy would die…I used my mothers
death as a threat to make me do certain things.

By the age of 12 I started reading my salaah on time…I was obsessed with doing this even though it wasn’t yet compulsory for me.

I would make sure my wudhu and salaah was perfect as I was scared of getting punished in Jahanam for missing my salaah.

This made me always doubt the number of rakaats I performed in my salaah as well as weather or not I had washed my fard parts in my wudhu.
At the age of 13 up until I was 20 years old I sometimes felt certain I was reading less rakaats in my fard salaah.

It became compulsory for me to read my salaah at the age of 14…at the age of 14 I was still certain that I was performing less rakaats in my fard salaah and that I wasn’t washing my fard parts when making wudhu thus I would perform my salaah and wudhu again and again for each salaah time…

*one day at the age of 15…. when I was mature already and was in full control of myself, I uttered this kufr statement: ” if I watch television I will be a Hindu”- I uttered this kufr statement with the intention of being a Hindu in my mind and heart and being content with being a Hindu on not abiding to this kufr statement..

I continued to feel certain that I wasn’t washing my fard parts in my wudhu and my wudhu wasn’t accepted so I would repeat my wudhu about 5 times for each salaah.

Within the next years I became certain I was leaving out the sunnah parts of my salaah so I would make sajda sahwa….

I reached a point where I was still certain I was not washing the fard parts of wudhu when making my wudhu and became certain that I was not reading my fard parts of my salaah when I was making salaah…I would repeat my wudhu and salaah a number of times per salaah and my life was tough…I lived this way and performed salaah this way for a while.

Once I overcame this waswaas in wudhu and salaah I was attacked again as I began feeling certain that my wudhu was breaking while performing my salaah this made it even more tough and challenging for me to perform my salaah …

I also became certain that my fasts were breaking when I tried to fast, this made it tough for me to fast.

The waswaas grew and grew as
3 years ago ( I am now 25) I started uttering kufr statements to prevent me from performing certain actions but I uttered these kufr statements without the intention of becoming a kaafir in my mind and heart when I did not abide to these kufr statements , rather I only uttered these kufr statements to scare me so that I do not perform certain actions…I also started doubting that I am bowing to random objects in the house…it became a sickness. Up till today sometimes I utter kufr statements but without the intention of becoming a kaafir in my mind and heart when I do not abide to these kufr statements , rather I only utter these kufr statements to scare me so that I do not perform certain actions.

Question 1

Recently
@ – I uttered 5 different kufr statements on different days at different times ,when I was fully in control of myself, knowing that each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered ( refer to @ – at the start of this paragraph ) will take me out of the fold of Islam if I do not abide to them yet I uttered each of these 5 kufr statements(refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph ) with the intention of being a Hindu (kufr) and being content with being a Hindu (kaafir) if I do not abide to each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered ( refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph ).If I do not abide to each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered recently (refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph), while I am fully in control of myself ,each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered ( refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph) I do not abide to on different days at different times(5 kufr statements that I uttered refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph ) , with the intention of being a Hindu (kaafir) on not abiding to each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered ( refer to @ – at the start of this paragraph ) , knowing that not abiding to each of these 5 kufr statements that I uttered ( refer to @ – at the start of the paragraph) will take me out of the fold of Islam ,will my nikaah break and will my imaan be lost?(Question 1)

Question 2

If I do not abide to the kufr statement I uttered( refer to paragraph marked with a *) as I do the action that I uttered I won’t do(meaning I watch television) …remembering and knowing that doing the action that I uttered I won’t do( watching television) will take me out of the fold of Islam as I will be a Hindu if I do the action that I uttered I won’t do (meaning if I watch television ) in the kufr statement I uttered ,I am fully in control of myself at all times , will my nikkah break and will my imaan be lost?( Question 2)

I am sooooo worried as I am married now but was not married when I uttered the above kufr statement ( marked with a *) but am married when I uttered the other 5 kufr statements ( paragraph marked with @).I don’t want my marriage to break and I would rather die now then have my Imaan lost.

N.B . Here is an example of the type of kufr statements I am talking about whenever I mentioned kufr statements above: I uttered, for example that ,” If I eat a jelly bear I will be a Hindu” I utter kufr statements like this with the intention of being a Hindu( kaafir) in my mind and heart and being content with being a Hindu every time I do not abide to each kufr statement that I uttered knowing that not abiding to each of these kufr statements will take me out of the fold of Islam.I am in full control of myself when I make and do not abide to these kufr statements)

Jazak-Allah

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahamatullahi wa barakatuhu,

You should ignore the doubts regarding the Wudhu and Salah. During your prayer if you feel you get confused on the amount of Rakahs, you should just make Sajda Sahw, and not worry about it thereafter.

If you leave out a Sunnah in prayer, Sajda Sahw is not necessary.

We highly recommend that you also get a medical check. These doubts are not normal, so probably all these concerns come about because of some psychological discorder like OCD.

We reviewed your questions, and the ruling is the same: Your Imaan and marriage will be intact, and if you do not abide by the five statements, you should pay the Kaffarah, as discussed in the previous answer.

 

Also make it a habit of reciting the following constantly:

أعوذُ باِللهِ مِنَ الشَّيطَانِ الرَّجِيم

“I seek refuge in Allah from the rejected devil.”

 

لاحول ولا قوة إلا بالله

“There is no power and no strength except with Allah”

 

أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ نَفْسِي، وَمِنْ شَرِّ الشَّيْطَانِ وَشِرْكِهِ

“I seek refuge in you from the evil of my soul and from the evil of Satan and his companions.”

As for your question, since this w

References

 أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ، قَالَ: قَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَجَاوَزَ لِي عَنْ أُمَّتِي مَا وَسْوَسَتْ بِهِ صُدُورُهَا، مَا لَمْ تَعْمَلْ أَوْ تَكَلَّمْ (متقق عليه)