Regarding question one, I was within my max days of hayd.
But I’m just confused about what I saw.
Like I said, when I wiped it felt pretty dry and all I saw was that my tissue paper looked slightly damp. Can I assume that this came from the dampness that is ordinarily inside my private area?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Yes, it will be from the normal dampness. Therefore, you will be pure and should continue with your Salah etc.
Assalamu alaikum,
The entrance of my masjid is wet and there will be squirrel or mouse feces on the wet floor on most days. And i am not able to enter the masjid without stepping into the wet floor bare footed so that the najas (not the feces as such but the wetness on the floor) spread to my feet. So will i and the imam be excused if we pray in this condition as it is difficult ?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
The excretion of squirrels and mice is impure, and hence performing Salah after stepping in the feces will not be permissible.
The best would be to get a locol scholar to come past and check whether the feces contaminates the water you step on or not, and how much transfers onto the foot.
If the stool really contaminated the water and if alot comes on the foot, then perhaps you could keep clean sandles at the entrance of the Masjid, or ask the cleaner to clean that area more often, especially before Adhaan.
1. I thought i had released discharge and went to check but when i wiped, it
felt pretty dry and all i saw on the paper was slight dampness. the discharge
i had prior to this was discoloured, so i believed im still in hayd. can i
assume that the dampness i saw was normal dampness which is from around m my private area and that im still in hayd?
2. In another incident today, after i was done relieving myself and i washed
myself, i wiped where my discharge comes out to check and i didnt really see
proper discharge – all i saw on the paper i wiped with was dampness/wetness. but i hadnt really wiped the instinja water off of me yet so, can i assume that what i saw is just water from istinja?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
1) If you have completed your normal habit or the maximum period of Haidh (10 days), then you will be pure. The discoloured dampness will not be considered to be your period.
2) Yes, you may consider the dampness as the water of Istinjaa.
As Salamu Alaikum, My father has two children. (a). me (daughter) and (b). Son (my brother).I am married with 3 children (2 daughters-10 years and 3 years, 1 son-6 year). My brother is just married for 6 months no children yet. My father has many property and cash. He wants to give some property and cash as an inheritance to me and my children. But It is not possible according to Shariah. Can he give it to my kids and me as a gift during his lifetime or after his death? He didn’t mention any gift like this about the child of my brother as he has no child and automatically he will be the inheritance of his property. Will it be a discriminant between me and my brother?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
When one distributes his assets amongst his children during his life, it will be considered as a gift.
It is Mustahab (preferable) for one maintain equality when gifting amongst his children. However, if a father gives one child and does not give the other, there will be no sin, and the transfer of owership will take place.
After his demise, your father loses ownership of his wealth, and hence he cannot give a gift posted date to then. Whatever assets that he leaves will be distributed amongst the heirs in accordance to the laws of Inheritance and Succession of Shariah.
قال : فإن خص بعضهم لمعنى يقتضي تخصيصه مثل اختصاصه بحاجة أو زمانه أو عمى أو كثرة عالة أو اشتغاله بالعلم أو نحوه من الفضائل أو صرف عطيته عن بعض ولده لفسقه أو بدعته أو غير ذلك فقد روي عن أحمد ما يدل على جوازه ويدل ظاهر لفظه المنع من التفضيل على كل حال والأول أولى. (التعليق الممجد بشرح موطأ محمد لمحمد عبد الحي اللكنوي – 20 / 4)
[1] ولو وهب رجل شيئا لأولاده فى الصحة واراد تفضيل البعض على البعض……عن ابى حنيفة رحمه الله تعالى أنه لا بأس به اذا كان التفضيل لزيادة فضل له فى الدين وان كانا سواء يكره وروى المعلى عن أبي يوسف رحمه الله تعالى أنه لا بأس به إذا لم يقصد به الإضرار، وإن قصد به الإضرار سوى بينهم يعطي الابنة مثل ما يعطي للابن وعليه الفتوى هكذا في فتاوى قاضي خان وهو المختار، كذا في الظهيرية.. الفتاوى الهندية 4/ 391 رشيدية
وفي الخانية ولو وهب شيئا لأولاده في الصحة، وأراد تفضيل البعض على البعض روي عن أبي حنيفة لا بأس به إذا كان التفضيل لزيادة فضل في الدين وإن كانوا سواء يكره وروى المعلى عن أبي يوسف أنه لا بأس به إذا لم يقصد الإضرار وإلا سوى بينهم وعليه الفتوى.. (رد المحتار – 4/444)
وذهب الجمهور إلى أن التسوية مستحبة فإن فضل بعضا صح وكره واستحبت المبادرة إلى التسوية أو الرجوع فحملوا الأمر على الندب والنهي على التنزيه.. (فتح الباري – 5/214)
Mufti Sahab Assalamoalaikum,
Sir my question is I was made imam of zohar prayer by the muqtadi in a Masjid. After prayer when I reached home I found blood spot on my cloth (like a small grain) which came out of a minor wound on my leg. Should I repeat my prayer and what to do for Muqtadi salah as it was a Jamat and I donot recognize them.
2. My second question is when I wear nylon socks, can I do Masa during wuzoo on these socks when these socks are thin and foot are visible. And what are conditions for foot masa.
3. There is ahadit summarises, that when you offer salah, then pray like you are seeing Allah, and if you are not seeing varily Allah is seeing you. My question is how you visualize Allah during salah, like a noor, or like what, how one should think of Allah during salah.
4. My forth question is if the semen of a husband is inserted through wife vagina using a tube where semen is collected, (because of wife cannot conceive naturally), is this act is allowed in Islam ad will the baby born in this way is Halal.
May Allah bless you all.
regards
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
1) There is no need to repeat the prayer. Your prayer as the Imam as well as the prayers of those who followed you will all be valid.
2) It is not permitted to wipe upon nylon socks. Please find a detailed Fatwaa with all the conditions as well as adequate proofs on the following link:
https://www.scribd.com/document/18186190/Masah-on-Socks-Ablution-with-Socks
3) Try to avoid thinking on the actual being of Allah. Just like a subject who is carrying out certain tasks whilst the king is watching him will ensure that he completes his work with utmost perfection, in the same way you should focus on the meaning of what you are saying whilst performing Salah, and complete your Salah correctly with total concentration.
4) Yes, it is permissible if the semen if the husband was used. The child born will be legitimate.
وفي السراج : لو وجد في ثوبه نجاسة مغلظة أكثر من قدر الدرهم ولم يعلم بالإصابة لم يعد شيئا بالإجماع وهو الأصح . قلت : وهذا يشمل الدم ، فيقتضي أن الأصح عدم الإعادة مطلقا تأمل (رد المحتار – 220 / 1 )
ومشايخنا قالوا في البول يعتبر من آخر ما بال وفي الدم من آخر ما رعف وفي المني من آخر ما احتلم أو جامع كذا في البدائع ومراده بالاحتلام النوم ؛ لأنه سببه بدليل ما نقله في المحيط عن ابن رستم أنه يعيد من آخر نومة نامها فيه واختار في المحيط أنه لا يعيد شيئا لو رأى دما (البحر الرائق – 221 / 1)
Asalamualaikum
I was wondering if it was halal to work in a fostering agency doing admin work. I could work to promote the agency and help recruit new foster carers.
I’m worried about possibly having to recruit carers with kids who have reached puberty. This is an issue because if the child is a boy, then the mother has to cover up. And vice versa if the child is a girl. I understand if it’s a non-Muslim who is fostering, then we can’t do much, but I’d feel guilty for being apart of the process of allowing these people to be together.
Mostly young kids are fostered, I’ve noticed, but still, it’s a possibility.
Should I not have to worry about this? And overall, is it ok to work in such an agency?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.
If your job is only admin, with no involvement in recruiting new foster caregivers or promoting the company, then the income will be Halal, but there will still be sin.
However, if you are recruiting and promoting, then the income too will be tarnished, since you will be assisting in sin. Allah Ta`ala says in the Holy Qur’an:
وَلَا تَعَاوَنُوا عَلَى الْإِثْمِ وَالْعُدْوَانِ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعِقَابِ
“And do not assist one another in sin and aggression. And fear Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty.” [Al-Qur’ān; 5:2]
The best is to rather search for an alternate source of income. Allāh the Almighty says in the Holy Qur’ān:
وَمَنْ يَتَّقِ اللَّهَ يَجْعَلْ لَهُ مَخْرَجًا، وَيَرْزُقْهُ مِنْ حَيْثُ لَا يَحْتَسِبُ وَمَنْ يَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ فَهُوَ حَسْبُهُ
“And whoever fears Allah, for him Allah brings forth a way out, and gives him provision (of his needs) from where he does not even imagine. And whoever places his trust in Allah, He is sufficient for him.” [Al-Qur’ān, Al-Talāq, 2-3]
Also recite the following du`ā’:
اللَّهُمَّ اكْفِنِي بِحَلاَلِكَ عَنْ حَرَامِكَ، وَأَغْنِنِي بِفَضْلِكَ عَمَّنْ سِوَاكَ
Transliteration: Allaahummak finee bi halaalika `an haraamika wa aghninee bi fadlika `amman siwaak
Translation: “O Allah, suffice me with Your lawful against Your prohibited, and make me independent of all those besides You.”
We pray that Allah grants you Halal and pure income.
لو باع الكرم وهو يعلم أن المشتري يتخذ العنب خمراً لا بأس به إذا كان قصده من البيع تحصيل الثمن، وإن كان قصده تحصيل الخمر يكره، و أغراس الكرم على هذا إذا كان يغرس بنية تحصيل الخمر يكره وإن كان لتحصيل العنب لا يكره، والأفضل أن لا يبيع العصير ممن يتخذه خمراً (فتاوى قاضيخان – 3/ 116)
الثاني: لأنه لا فساد في قصد البائع، فإن قصده التجارة بالتصرّف فيما هو حلال لاكتساب الربح، وإنما المحرم والفساد في قصد المشتري اتخاذ الخمر منه، ولا تزر وازرة وزر أخرى.
الثالث: لأن العصير مشروب طاهر حلال، فيجوز بيعه، وأكل ثمنه، لأن المعصية لا تقوم بعينه أي بنفس العصير بل بعد تغيره وصيرورته أمراً آخر ممتاز عن العصير بالاسم والخاصة، فصار عند العقد كسائر الأشربة من عمل ونحوه.
الرابع: لأن العصير يصلح الأشياء كلها جائز شرعاً فيكون الفساد إلى اختياره.
الخامس: لأن هذا الشرط لا يخرجها عن ملك المشتري ولا مطالب له.
السادس: لأن العصير ليس بآلة المعصية بل يصير آلة لها بعد ما يصير خمراً.
لكنه يكره بيع العصير ممن يتخذه خمراً عند أبي يوسف ومحمد، كما صرح به صاحب ((المبسوط)) 24: 26 وغيره، ووجه ذلك عندهما: أنه استحسان؛ لأن بيع العصير والعنب ممن يتخذه خمراً إعانة على المعصية، وتمكين منها، وذلك حرام، وإذا امتنع البائع من البيع يتعذَّر على المشتري اتخاذ الخمر، فكان في البيع منه تهييج الفتنة، وفي الامتناع تسكينها.
(خلاصة الكلام في مسألة الإعانة على الحرام – ص: 16)
Aoa
I wanted to know about the permissibility of writing Fictional stories in Islam and whether earnings made from them are halal or not.
I have conflicting fatwas, some saying it is permitted while the others are condemning it.
Those who say it is permitted say it because:
It is permissible to write fiction books if the following conditions are met:
1) Content of the stories should be within the boundaries of the Qur’an and Sunnah of the Prophet of Allah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasalam i.e. the storylines should not be about immodesty, immorality and violence.
2) If it is written for a purpose of deriving a moral or a lesson
.
Those who say it is forbidden do so because according to them:
It is based on a lie.
What i don’t understand is that every reader knows that the book is a Fictional work i.e. it is from author’s imagination and the events have no realexistence and is not based on a true story. How can this be classified as a lie?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakuhu,
Since there is no clear verse in the Quran or any narration from the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) on the issue of writing fictional tales, there will be differences of opinion amongst scholars.
According to our teachers, writing fictional tales is permissible if it is for eductional purposes or to drive home a moral and lesson. However, there are conditions, boundaries and guidelines which one should adhere to:
1) There should not be anything which contradicts the Shari‘ah and Islamic religion.
2) The content should not promote false ideologies, obscenity, immorality, violence or anything else prohibited in Islam.
3) There should be no pictures of animate objects included.
4) The reader should be made aware that he/she is reading something which is fictional. They should know that this is entirely from the authors imagination.
5) There should be no attempt to distort any real incident or historical event.
6) There should be no disrespect to any religion, race, gender etc.
7) The author should try his/her level best to give some benefit to the reader; whether it is through the moral of the story, educational content, or even by enhancing the readers linguistic skills.
If the above is kept in mind at the time of writing, then there is no reason for it to be impermissible to write anything fictional, which is beneficial. The earnings derived from inventing and transcribing such material will be Halal and pure.
Asalamualaikum
The only product I’m interested in buying from McDonalds is the Mocha Iced Frappe.
It turns out it is actually suitable for vegetarians, so afterwards I wondered about it’s alcohol content.
This is what McDonalds had to say: “Alcohol is used during the manufacturing process of our Caramel Iced Frappe, Chocolate Chip Iced Frappe and whipped cream ingredients. The level of alcohol is very low and evaporates during the process. The alcohol level in the final Caramel Iced Frappe, Chocolate Chip Iced Frappe and whipped cream is less than 0.05%.”
I read a fatwa by Shaykh Uthaymeen which mentioned: “But if the alcohol has been fully absorbed into what it has been mixed with, and no trace of it can be detected, then it does not become haraam thereby.”
It would seem like since the alcohol content in the drink is so little and it also evaporates, then it must be permissible to purchase.
Am I safe to say this is correct?
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
The miniscule alcohol in food products will be permissible on two conditons:
1) The alcohol should not be derived from dates or grapes,
2) The residual little should not intoxicate.
This is irrespective whether the alcohol is used as a preservative, solvent or ingredient.
If alcohol is derived from grapes or dates, or if the alcohol intoxicates, the product in which the alcohol is used will not be permissible.
ذكر محمد رحمه الله فى” الجامع الصغير” عقيب ذكر الخمر و نقيع الزبيب والسكر، و ما سواها من الأشربة، فلا بأس به، وهذا الجواب على هذا البيان، والعموم لا يوجد في غير هذا الكتاب، وهذا نص أن ما يتخذ من الحنطة والشعير حلال (المحيط البرهاني – ١٩ / ١٢٣)
ونبيذ العسل والتين ونبيذ الحنطة والذرة والشعير حلال وإن لم يطبخ، وهذا عند أبي حنيفة وأبي يوسف رحمهما الله تعالى إذا كان من غير لهو (الهداية – ٧ / ٢٩٦)
الکحل والے مشروبات وماکولات کا حکم
سوال: ہمارے ملک میں کوکا کولا، فانتا اور ان کے مانند دیگر مشروبات شائع ع ذائع ہیں اور کثرت سے مستعمل ہیں،بنانے والے کار خانہ سے تحقیق سے معلوم ہوا کہ ان مشروبات وغیرھا میں الکحل ڈال جاتا ہے، اس الکحل کے بعض اقسام عصیرالعنب سے تیار ہوتے ہیں اور بعض اقسام آلو،کوئلہ اور گیہوں وغیرہ سے بنتے ہیں، ایک بوتل میں تقریبا ایک آدھ قطرہ ا لکحل موجود ہوتا ہے اور ظاہر ہے کہ اس قسم کی مشروبات محض تنعم و تلذذ کے طور پر پی جاتی ہیں-۔۔۔ نیز آج کل دواؤں میں الکحل ڈالا جاتا ہے، خصوصا ہومیوپیثھک کی کوئی دوا ہی شاید اس سے خالی ہو، ان دواؤں کا استعمال جائز ہے یا نہیں؟
الجواب: تحقیق سے ثابت ہوا کہ اشربہ وادویہ میں عصیر العنب یا عصیر الرطب نہیں ڈالا جاتا، دوسرے اشربہ کہ حکم کی تفصیل یہ ہے
قال العلامة الشلبي (قوله فيما اذا قصد به التقوي) علي طاعة الله او استمراء الطعام او التداوي فاما المسكر منه حرام بالاجماع اه اتقاني(حاشية علي التبيين ص٤٧ ج ٦)
وقال العلامة ابن عابدين: (قوله بلا لهو وطرب) قال في المختار: الطرب خفة تصيب الإنسان لشدة حزن أو سرور اهـ. قال في الدرر. وهذا التقييد غير مختص بهذه الأشربة بل إذا شرب الماء وغيره من المباحات بلهو وطرب على هيئة الفسقة حرام اهـ ط (رد المحتار ص٢٩١ ج ٥)
وقال العلامة الحصكفي: (و) الرابع (المثلث) العنبي وإن اشتد، وهو ما طبخ من ماء العنب حتى يذهب ثلثاه ويبقى ثلثه إذا قصد به استمراء الطعام والتداوي والتقوي على طاعة الله تعالى، ولو للهو لا يحل إجماعا حقائق (رد المحتار ص٢٩٢ ج ٥)
وقال في الهندية: ( وَأَمَّا مَا هُوَ حَلَالٌ عِنْدَ عَامَّةِ الْعُلَمَاءِ ) فَهُوَ الطِّلَاءُ ، وَهُوَ الْمُثَلَّثُ وَنَبِيذُ التَّمْرِ وَالزَّبِيبُ فَهُوَ حَلَالٌ شُرْبُهُ مَا دُونَ السَّكَرِ لِاسْتِمْرَاءِ الطَّعَامِ وَالتَّدَاوِي وَلِلتَّقْوَى عَلَى طَاعَةِ اللَّهِ – تَعَالَى – لَا لِلتَّلَهِّي وَالْمُسْكِرُ مِنْهُ حَرَامٌ ، وَهُوَ الْقَدْرُ الَّذِي يُسْكِرُ ، وَهُوَ قَوْلُ الْعَامَّةِ ( عالمگیریه ص٤١٢ ج ٥)
وقال العلامة اللكهنوي: قلت اللهو و الطرب نوعان منهما مباح اذا كان خاليا عن معني المعصية ومقدماتها ونوع منها مكروهة اذا خلط بالمعصية او مقدماتها او تكون وسيلة اليها وهذا هو المراد بقوله اللهو والطرب دون الاول(عمدة الرعاية حاشية شرح الوقاية ص ٦٦ ج ٤)
عبارات بالا سے امور ذیل ثابت ہوئے:
ـ غیر خمر کا استعمال حد سکر سے کم تقوی واستمراء طعام کے لئے جائز ہے،زمان حاضر میں معدہ کی خرابی اور سوء ہضم کا مرض عام ہے،اس لئے مصلح معدہ و ہاضم اشیاء لوازم طعام میں داخل ہو گئی ہیں
۔نشاط وطرب کے لئے اکل و شراب مطلقا ممنوع نہیں بلکہ علی طریق الفساق ممانعت ہے اور اس میں کسی خاص ماکول و مشروب کی تخصیص نہیں،بلکہ سب ماکولات و مشروبات کا یہی حکم ہے
-۔ہر لہو وطرب حرام نہیں، بلکہ اس میں کسی حرام فعل کا ارتکاب ہو یا مفضی الی الحرام ہو تو نا جائز ہے
-نمبر ٢ اور نمبر ٣ کا حاصل تقریبا ایک ہی ہے-
اس تفصیل سے ثابت ہوا کہ سوال میں مذ کورہ اشیاء کا کھانا پینا حلال ہے-
علاوہ ازین عموما ایسے ماکولات و مشروبات میں الکحل تعفن سے حفاظت کی غرض سے ڈالا جاتا ہے اس لئے استعمال بوجہ ضرورت میں داخل ہے، تلہی میں نہیں (احسن الفتاوى – ٨ / ٤٨٦)
الکحول کا شرعی حکم
سوال: الکحول کا کیا حکم ہے؟— آج کل اس میں ابتلائے عام ہے لہذا تفصیلی جواب مرحمت فرمائے؟
الجواب: جو الکحول یا اسپرٹ،منقی،انگور،یا کجھور کی شراب سے بنایا گیا ہو وہ بالاتفاق سے ناپاک ہے، اس کا استعمال اور خریدو فروخت بھی نا جائز ہے
وہ الکحول یا اسپرت جو مذکورہ بالا اشیاٰء کے علاوہ کسی اور چیز مثلا جو،آلو،شہد وغیرہ کی شراب سے بنایا گیا ہو اس کی نجاست اور حرمت میں فقہاء کا اختلاف ہے امام صاحب اور امام ابو یوسف کے نزدیک اس کی اتنی مقدار حلال ہے جس سے نشہ نہ ہو-جب کہ اس کو صحیح مقصد کے لئے استعمال کیا جائے، طرب اور لہو کے طور پر نہ ہو-اور امام محمد کے نذدیک تھوڑی مقدار بھی نا جائز ہے،عام حالت میں فتوی امام محمد کے قول پر ہے مگر اسپرٹ میں عموم بلوی کی وجہ سے شیخین کے قول کے مطابق گنجائش ہے (فتاوی دار العلوم زکریا – ٦ / ٦٧٧)
Salams, I am a sister.
Around couple of years ago a female best friend of mine introduced me to her uni male friend (we didn’t meet/talk)- she simple told him that I could be a potential for him. He asked her direct questions about me and then asked my best friend to ask me if I would be interested if he came to ask my parents.
Initially, i was very skeptic and said no as I was 19 at the time. Fast forward two years, I asked questions here there that what his lifestyle is like etc , my female friend mediated between us (which does not make it halal I understand and have repented for this).
Then round August of this year I did istikhara before I agreed on allowing him to come ask my parents. Keep in mind at this point i still hadn’t directly spoke to him or met him, all I knew was that he comes from a pious family, he himself is a man of good character and I can definitely see myself with him.
So I did istikhara and dreamt of my grandma who I was very close to and was looking after since I was a little girl, we shared a bedroom together so you can imagine how close we were . She passed away in March this year.
So in this dream I see my grandma coming to our house and at the same time I’m supposed to be having a meeting with a potential spouse. My grandma hugs me and says ‘make sure you marry him you will be a happy person’.
I tried not to let the dream overpower how I felt but I couldn’t help but grow feelings in my heart after this. But I didn’t act on the feelings.
Two months later , this boy actually had his uncle ring my dad and ask etc. I’d informed my parents beforehand to expect this and immediately they shut the idea of him down because he is of lower caste. We are both Indian , Gujarati. Live a town away from each other (10 minute drive). Yet this caste issue overpowered my parents judgement entirely.
I told them please just give him a chance you might like him and see that he can keep me happy. My parents said ‘why do you want to purposely go into another caste when youre only 21 and this lower caste lot are so different to us’.
I told them islamically you can’t look at caste! Caste is racially abusive, how can this be such a big hindernace. My parents aren’t even open to the idea, we are both Gujarati Indian- it’s just that he is of a different lower caste.
My mum also said ‘if you date him then you go to another caste , no one purposely or get arranged marriage and go to another caste, you hadn’t even met him so what’s the point of furthering and purposely going to another caste’.
I dont know what to do, I have kept my parents respect as highest as possible and refused to meet him (he never asked to meet but it was my own thing that I wouldn’t ever meet until my parents would allow him to come to my house with his parents). Throughout that time where he wanted to marry him and I wanted to marry him, we didn’t meet or talk directly. I just continued to receive information from my friend.
My parents ended up saying no about a month ago. He was distraught and did not understand why caste is the reason why he wasn’t being given a chance to meet me and I wasn’t alllwed to consider him.
I feel awful that this has come down to this. But my question is, a week after my parents said no I prayed two rakat nafl for help from Allah and went to sleep. This time I dreamt of my grandma again and I ask her ‘ma ma, should I marry him still?’ And my grandma says ‘yes ofcourse’ so I say ‘but ma he is a different caste’
My grandma says ‘so what if he is a different caste, marry him’.
Now I’m left in a massive dilemma where , number one I don’t want to upset my parents but at the same time I can’t move on knowing I did not give this man a chance because of ‘caste’. My parents may have grown up with that mindset but I can’t move on knowing I gave into THAT mindset.
The dreams Felt like they were guiding me but now I’m so confused. My grandma in my dream is saying this which is emotionally overwhelming but my parents are saying no because of caste.
Please shed some light on the situation I’m in. I need help:(
Jazak’allah khayr
We apologize for the much belated response and also take note of the contents of your email.
We understand your predicament and emotions, especially after the two dreams. We make dua’a that Allah Ta’ala remove your difficulties. Aameen.
Islamically, superiority is based on a persons Taqwa (the consciousness and fear of Allah; piety). Islam does not consider one to be better than another because of his skin color, lineage, intelligence, appearance or wealth.
Furthermore, in terms of lineage for compatibility of marriage, all non Arabs are equal.
Thus, if the boy really has outstanding character and piety, then his proposal shpuld not be ignored, just on the basis of him of another caste. Yes, if he is presently of lower social status, then that should be considered. It could difficult fo downgrade ones life, if he is poorer for example, and that could affect your marriage later.
Having said that, irrespective of their viewpoints and ideologies, your parents have much authority over you. The huge step of marriage should definitely not be taken without their guidance, blessings and prayers.
If your parents and other family members fail to understand that this boy is perfect for you, then firstly you need to make Dua to Allah. Allah controls the hearts and minds of all His creatures, and He can guide your parents and make them agree. On that note, Istikharah is also a Dua; where you are asking Allah to destine for you what is best and avert from you what may not be in your best interest. In Istikharah, you are imploring Allah to avert from you what is harmful for your Deen (religion) and Dunya (worldly life), for verily at times we may not know the reality. Thus, continue imploring Allah to assist you and trust Him to decree for you what will be in your best interest.
Thereafter, discuss the issue with some responsible person in the family, perhaps an elderly reputable or influential person or speak to the local ‘Ulama (scholars) of your area, and see if they can convince your parents to look beyond caste and and culture.
Do not lose hope and continue respecting your parents as you have been doing. Insha Allah, Allah will bless you with what is best at the ideal and perfect time.
الفصل السادس: في الكفاءة
الكفاءة معتبرة في باب النكاح، والأصل فيه قوله عليه السلام فيما رواه جابر عنه: «لا تنكح النساء إلا من الأكفاء» وقال عليه السلام: «ألا لا يُزوجُ النساءَ إلا الأولياءُ ولا يزوجن إلا من الأكفاء» والحكمة في اشتراطها: تحقيق ما هو المقصود من النكاح وهو السكنى والازدواج، إذ المرأة تتعير باستفراش من لا يكافئها، ………..ثم اعتبارها من وجوه: أحدها: النسب، الثاني: المال، والثالث: الحرية، والرابع: إسلام الأب في الموالي، والخامس: التقوى والحسب، والسادس: الكفاءة في الحرف، والسابع: الكفاءة في العقل (المحيط البرهاني – 3/ 92)
( قوله وهذا في العرب ) أي اعتبار النسب إنما يكون في العرب…..
……( قوله وأما في العجم ) المراد بهم من لم ينتسب إلى إحدى قبائل العرب ، ويسمون الموالي والعتقاء كما مر وعامة أهل الأمصار والقرى في زماننا منهم ، سواء تكلموا بالعربية أو غيرها إلا من كان له منهم نسب معروف كالمنتسبين إلى أحد الخلفاء الأربعة أو إلى الأنصار ونحوهم ( رد المحتار – 4 / 198)
قال في تنوير الأبصار: الكفاءة معتبرة من جانبه لا من جانبها ؛ وقال في الدر المختار: ( من جانبه ) أي الرجل لأن الشريفة تأبى أن تكون فراشا للدنيء ولذا ( لا ) تعتبر ( من جانبها ) لأن الزوج مستفرش فلا تغيظه دناءة الفراش وهذا عند الكل في الصحيح ؛ وقال ابن عابدين في حاشيته: أي يعتبر أن يكون الرجل مكافئا لها في الأوصاف الآتية بأن لا يكون دونها فيها ، ولا تعتبر من جانبها بأن تكون مكافئة له فيها بل يجوز أن تكون دونه فيها ( قوله ولذا لا تعتبر ) تعليل للمفهوم ، وهو أن الشريف لا يأبى أن يكون مستفرشا للدنيئة كالأمة والكتابية لأن ذلك لا يعد عارا في حقه بل في حقها لأن النكاح رق للمرأة والزوج مالك ( رد المحتار: ج 4 ص 194)