Monthly Archives: May 2018

Zakah to my father in law

Zakah to my father in law

19 May 2018 Ref-No#: 680

Mufti,

My father in law had a good job at a reputable company, for which he worked for for over 3 decades.

However, about 9 years back that company went bankrupt, and they paid my father in law out. My father in law used that money and all his savings to start a business. However, that business became a disaster, and ny father in laws was not making any profit. Rather, he was in a deficit each month. Since there were contracts in place, he soon had to sell his assets to cover his expenses. He soon lost everything.

Currently he gets a mere R10 000 every month, which just covers all his expenses. He has no savings, investments etc. In fact, he has nothing to his name at all.

Can I give him my Zakah?

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Yes, it is permissible to give Zakah to ones father in law.

References

ويجوز دفعها لزوجة أبيه وابنه وزوج ابنته  (رد المحتار –  (2/ 346)

Software of companies that sell Haram

Software of companies that sell Haram

18 May 2018 Ref-No#: 673

As’salamu alaykum wa rehmatullahi wa barkatuhu..Ramadaan mubarak. I work in a software company.Our company has various clients.Some are banks, insurances, tobacco and wine manufacturers,power related,healthcare related,McDonald’s,coca cola etc. Our company develops softwares and provides services to the above mentioned clients and the clients gives our company money as a remuneration for the services provided. Unfortunately I am working on “tobacco and wine manufacturer” client project. My nature of job is to test the software and report it to the developers if there are any defects. So my question is, can I work for the software company and will the money earned will be halal as I am indirectly helping them in sin.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

There are two seperate issues:

1) Ruling on your income,

2) Whether you will get sin or not for doing the job,

As for the income, it will be Halal. However, you will get sin for doing the job.

If possible, it is best to ask your company to give you other projects (example from the companies who deal with healthcare etc). Alternatively, try to get another job. However, if that is difficult, you may continue working at your present company, but your should do the following:

1) Continuously make Istighfaar (asking forgiveness from Allah),

2) Consciously make the intention that you are doing the work just for the salary, and not to assist with the evil in any way.

References

لو باع الكرم وهو يعلم أن المشتري يتخذ العنب خمراً لا بأس به إذا كان قصده من البيع تحصيل الثمن، وإن كان قصده تحصيل الخمر يكره، و أغراس الكرم على هذا إذا كان يغرس بنية تحصيل الخمر يكره وإن كان لتحصيل العنب لا يكره، والأفضل أن لا يبيع العصير ممن يتخذه خمراً (فتاوى قاضيخان- 3/ 116)

الثاني: لأنه لا فساد في قصد البائع، فإن قصده التجارة بالتصرّف فيما هو حلال لاكتساب الربح، وإنما المحرم والفساد في قصد المشتري اتخاذ الخمر منه، ولا تزر وازرة وزر أخرى.

الثالث: لأن العصير مشروب طاهر حلال، فيجوز بيعه، وأكل ثمنه، لأن المعصية لا تقوم بعينه أي بنفس العصير بل بعد تغيره وصيرورته أمراً آخر ممتاز عن العصير بالاسم والخاصة، فصار عند العقد كسائر الأشربة من عمل ونحوه.

الرابع: لأن العصير يصلح الأشياء كلها جائز شرعاً فيكون الفساد إلى اختياره.

الخامس: لأن هذا الشرط لا يخرجها عن ملك المشتري ولا مطالب له.

السادس: لأن العصير ليس بآلة المعصية بل يصير آلة لها بعد ما يصير خمراً.

لكنه يكره بيع العصير ممن يتخذه خمراً عند أبي يوسف ومحمد، كما صرح به صاحب ((المبسوط)) 24: 26 وغيره، ووجه ذلك عندهما: أنه استحسان؛ لأن بيع العصير والعنب ممن يتخذه خمراً إعانة على المعصية، وتمكين منها، وذلك حرام، وإذا امتنع البائع من البيع يتعذَّر على المشتري اتخاذ الخمر، فكان في البيع منه تهييج الفتنة، وفي الامتناع تسكينها.(خلاصة الكلام في مسألة الإعانة على الحرام  – ص: 16)

Yellow Discharge

Yellow Discharge

18 May 2018 Ref-No#: 664

As Salaamu Alaykum Mufti Saheb,
Is yellow discharge considered as part of haidh?

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

In principle, discharge of any other colour besides pure white will be regarded as menstrual blood (Haidh). Thus, yellow discharge should be treated just like other blood.  If yellow blood is spotted for more than three days, or during the days of menstruation, or after fifteen days of purity, then it will be considered as menstrual blood.

References

 وما تراه المرأة من الحمرة والصفرة والكدرة في أيام الحيض فهو حيض حتى ترى البياض الخالص (مختصر للقدوري (1 119)

واعلم، أن الوان الحيض هي الحمرة والسواد فهما حيض إجماعا، وكذا الصفرة المشبعة في الأصح والخضرة والصفرة الضعيفة والكدرة والتربية عندنا،

[قال اللكهنوي] وبالجملة: كون هذه الألوان حيضا مختلفه فيه بين مشائخنا، والأصح عندنا هو كونها حيضا إذا كان في مدة الحيض (عمدة الرعاية علي شرح الوقاية، ( ١ / ٥١٨-٥٢٠)

 وفي الغياثية: الصحيح أن الصفرة حيض (الفتاوى التاتارخانية، ١/ ٤٧٤)

Nasal Spray whilst fasting

Nasal Spray whilst fasting

17 May 2018 Ref-No#: 670

Slmz,

Can we use a nasal spray whilst fasting?

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Since the nose is a channel to both, the the troat and the brain, using a nasal spray will nullify the fast.

References

وما وصل إلى الجوف أو إلى الدماغ من المخارق  الأصلية كالأنف والأذن والدبر بأن استعط أو احتقن  أو أقطر في أذنه فوصل إلى الجوف أو إلى الدماغ  فسد صومه (بدائع الصنائع (2/93)

قلت ولم يقيدوا الاحتقان والاستعاط والإقطار  بالوصول إلى الجوف لظهوره فيها وإلا فلا بد منه  حتى لو بقي السعوط في الأنف ولم يصل إلى الرأس لا يفطر
(رد المحتار (2/402)

Showering while bleeding

Showering while bleeding

16 May 2018 Ref-No#: 663

Assalamu alaykum

For months now, I have been dealing with issues relating to near constant bleeding from different parts of my body.

I have a bad case of acne on my scalp and nearly all the pimples are filled with pus. They pop all the time. When they pop, after the pus/blood comes out, a reddish/yellowish liquid continues to come out of the wound for a long time, sometimes 2-3 whole days. And this is for one pimple – usually by the time one pimple is healed and stops leaking this fluid, another one pops.

Moreover, I have an anal fissure which means that everytime I pass stool, I have bleeding on my back side that normally lasts anywhere from about 8 hours to 1-2 days. Note that this is not a small about of bleeding and it starts pretty much every time I pass stool. Overall, at any given time, I either have a popped pimple leaking fluid on my head, or bleeding on my backside or both.

The problem for me is, in this situation how do I shower without spreading all this impurity around my whole body!? In order to heal the acne on my scalp I need to shower consistently, and keep my scalp clean or it will most likely get a lot worse. Moreover, I am a woman and every month I have to make ghusl following my period, and obviously I can’t just wait a few days in the hope that everything stops bleeding so I can make ghusl, in fact I usually have to make ghusl the same hour my period ends so that I can pray! How on earth am I suppose to shower or make ghusl when there is impurity flowing out of my head or backside or both most of the time!?

This issue is causing me so much stress and so much struggle and time. No matter who I have asked so far about this topic has given me compeletely unsatisfactory answers. I will be very very grateful for your answer.

Jazakallah.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

If there is impurity (blood or pus) emanating all the time from your body, in such a way that in atleast one Salah time the impurity comes out so often that you do not get the chance of performing Wudhu and praying that Salah without that impurity coming out, then you will be classified as a Ma’dhurah (excused).

You mention that at any given moment, there is blood or puss coming out from your body. However, the anal fissure only bleeds when you pass stool. Thus, it might be difficult to fulfill the above condition for that bleeding.

However, if the blood or puss emanates from your acne in the manner explained above, then you will be a Ma’dhurah.

The ruling of a Ma’dhurah is that she should perform Wudhu when the time of every prayer sets in. With that Wudhu, she can pray, recite Quran etc. Her Wudhu will not break, even though there is impurity emanating from her body. Yes, if any other nullifier of Wudhu takes place, then her Wudhu will break.

Hence, to become a Ma’dhurah, the impurity should come out continuously to the extent that you cannot get enough time to make Wudhu and perform your prayers without that impurity coming out.

Then, to remain a Ma’dhurah, the impurity should come out atleast once in every subsequent prayer time.

If a complete time of prayer passes without any impurity coming out, you will no longer be a Ma’dhurah, and will then have to perform a new Wudhu whenever the impurity emanates.

Whilst you are a Ma’dhurah, you should perform Ghusl after your menstrual periods, even though there may be impurity flowing. That impurity will be excused, and you will be pure. You may then perform prayer whilst those impurities are flowing.

From here we can see how easy Islam is.
Allah Ta’ala does not intend to ‘stress’ us out with his commandments. Rather, Allah intends ease for us. Allah Ta’ala says in the verse 185 of Surah al-Baqarah:

يُرِيدُ اللَّهُ بِكُمُ الْيُسْرَ وَلَا يُرِيدُ بِكُمُ الْعُسْرَ

“Allah intends ease for you, and does not intend any difficulty for you.”

Satan at the time of death

Satan at the time of death

14 May 2018 Ref-No#: 660

السلام علیکم ورحمة الله وبركاته

I’ve heard that Satan comes to a person at the time of his death in the form of his mother or father that passed away, and warns him that Oh son! Oh daughter! do not die on Islam, we died on Islam and Islam tended to be the false religion. And in this way tries to convert them to Christianity or Judaism.

Please comment on its authenticity and confirm if it is mentioned in some hadith.

جزاك الله خيرا

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

When Shaytaan was expelled from Jannah, he took an oath that he will lead mankind and Jinn astray. In Surah al-A’raaf, Allah Ta’ala mentions:

قَالَ فَبِمَا أَغْوَيْتَنِي لَأَقْعُدَنَّ لَهُمْ صِرَاطَكَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ (16) ثُمَّ لَآتِيَنَّهُم مِّن بَيْنِ أَيْدِيهِمْ وَمِنْ خَلْفِهِمْ وَعَنْ أَيْمَانِهِمْ وَعَن شَمَائِلِهِمْ ۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكْثَرَهُمْ شَاكِرِينَ (17)

(Iblis) said: “Because You have sent me astray, surely I will sit in wait against them (human beings) on Your Straight Path.
Then I will come to them from before them and behind them, from their right and from their left, and You will not find most of them as thankful ones (i.e. they will not be dutiful to You).” (Verses 16 and 17)

Thus, it is definite that Shaytaan will try his best to misguide us throughout our lives. And, before death, he will utilise all his energies and efforts, since that is indeed his last chance.

It is precisely for this reason that the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) sought protection from the devil especially at the time of death. In a narration of Sunan Abi Dawood it is mentioned that the he (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) used to make the following Dua:

….وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ يَتَخَبَّطَنِي الشَّيْطَانُ عِنْدَ الْمَوْتِ….(رواه ابو داود (1/568)

As for the narration in your question, we have not found it in any of the books of Ahadith which are at our disposal. Imam Qurtubi (may Allah be pleased with him) did narrate it in his book, at-Tadhkirah fi Ahwaal al-Mawtaa wa Umoor al-Aakhirah (29-30) and said it was narrated from the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). He furthermore quotes this from Sharh Risaalah Ibn Abi Zayd, and Kashf ‘Uloom al-Aakhirah. However, no Sanad (chain of transmission) or ruling on the narration is given.

Imam Qurtubi (may Allah be pleased with him) then relates that he heard one of his own respected teachers, Imam Abul-‘Abbaas Ahmad bin Umar al-Qurtubi, say, “I visited our teachers brother, Shaykh Abu Ja’far Muhammad al-Qurtubi at Cordova and found him  to be close to death. It was said to him, ‘Say Laa ilaaha illallaah’, to which he replied, ‘No! No!’

When he became conscious, we related to him what had occurred. He said,

‘Two devils came to me, one on my left and the other on my right. One of them said, ‘Die as a Jew, for verily it is the best of religions,’ while the other said, ‘Die as a Christian, for truly it is the best of religions.’ So I answered them saying, ‘No! No! How dare you say such a thing to me!’” at-Tadhkirah fi Ahwaal al-Mawtaa wa Umoor al-Aakhirah (30)

From the afore-mentioned it is clear that we cannot attribute this to the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam). Rather, it has been the experiance of some people, amd may or may not happen to others.

References

باب ما جاء أن الميت يحضر الشيطان عند موته وجلساؤه في الدنيا وما يخاف من سوء الخاتمة
«روي عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم أن العبد إذا كان عند الموت قعد عنده شيطانان الواحد عن يمينه والآخر عن شماله، فالذي عن يمينه على صفة أبيه، يقول له: يا بني إني كنت عليك شفيقاً ولك محباً، ولكن مت على دين النصارى فهو خير الأديان، والذي على شماله على صفة أمه، تقول له: يا بني إنه كان بطني لك وعاء، وثديي لك سقاء، وفخذي لك وطاء، ولكن مت على دين اليهود وهو خير الأديان» ، ذكره أبو الحسن القابسي في شرح رسالة ابن أبي زيد له، وذكر معناه أبو حامد في كتاب كشف علوم الآخرة ……..
……. “قال عبد الله بن أحمد بن حنبل : حضرت وفاة أبي ـ أحمد ـ وبيدي الخرقة لأشد لحييه ، فكان يعرق ثم يفيق ويقول بيده : لا بعد ، لا بعد . فعل هذا مراراً !! فقلت له : يا أبت أي شيء ما يبدو منك ؟ فقال : إن الشيطان قائم بحذائي عاض على أنامله يقول : يا أحمد فُتَّنِي ، وأنا أقول : لا بعد ، لا حتى أموت”.
قلت : ” سمعت شيخنا الإمام أبا العباس أحمد بن عمر القرطبي بثغر الإسكندرية يقول : حضرت أخا شيخنا أبي جعفر أحمد بن محمد بن محمد القرطبي بقرطبة وقد احتضر. فقيل له : قل : لا إله إلا الله ، فكان يقول : لا ، لا.
فلما أفاق ذكرنا له ذلك ؟
فقال : أتاني شيطانان عن يميني وعن شمالي ، يقول أحدهما : مت يهودياً فإنه خير الأديان ، والآخر يقول : مت نصرانياً فإنه خير الأديان .
فكنت أقول لهما: لا لا . فكان الجواب لهما ، لا لكما .
قلت : ومثل هذا عن الصالحين كثير ، يكون الجواب للشيطان ، لا لمن يلقنه الشهادة ” “التذكرة في أحوال الموتى وأمور الآخرة” (29-30)

Iddah for a woman who gets irregular periods

Iddah for a woman who gets irregular periods

09 May 2018 Ref-No#: 658

Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah,

A friend of mine has been divorced and commenced her Iddah. She has already experienced one period, however, due to her periods being irregular and she not seeing them monthly, for the last 45 days she has nt had a second menstrual period. In her case, how will her Iddah be calculated?

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu?

Since your friend was given 3 Talaaqs by her ex-husband, it became incumbent upon her to sit in Iddah. If your friend had been an older woman who has ceased experiencing menstrual cycles, or a woman who never sees her periods, then her Iddah would have been three complete months or 90 days. But your friend does not fall under the latter category, as she appears to be a young woman who still experiences menstrual cycles. Thus, her Iddah will span over three complete menstrual periods. Even though your friend’s periods are irregular and she does not see them monthly, she will still be required to wait for three menstrual periods to elapse before her Iddat can be considered to be terminated. Whether the duration of three periods in her case stretches over six months or even upto a year (maximum), she will still necessarily have to see the whole term through. As she has already experienced one period, she will wait for the next one (whether it comes after one month or two or three months), and then after becoming clean once more, she will wait for a third period. It is only after termination of that third menstrual period, that she will be free to marry another man if she wishes.

If she does not experiance Iddah for an entire year, then she may contact a Mufti then, who will determine whether to pass the verdict in accordance with the Maliki Madhab, and allow her to terminate her Iddah.

Ruling of Nikah

Ruling of Nikah

03 May 2018 Ref-No#: 639

assallam o allakum,

1- is it ok for an unmarried women not to marry if she do not find any suitable man, also she is sure that not getting married she will not engage in any unlawful relationships

2- if a married man develops sexual relations with a un married women and he repents and now want to marry the same women can he marry her, as someone told me that she will be haram for him to marry the women with whom a married man has unlawful relations.

JAZAKALLAH

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

1) Under general circumstances, Nikah (marriage) is a stressed upon Sunnah (Sunnah Muakkadah). Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said,

النِّكَاحُ مِنْ سُنَّتِي، فَمَنْ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ بِسُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي، (اخرجه  ابن ماجه (3/ 54)

“Marriage is from my Sunnah. And whosoever does not practise on my Sunnah, he is not from me (my followers).”(Sunan Ibn Majah, 3/54)

Marriage is the one Sunnah which was practised by every prophet. Allah Ta’ala says in verse 38 of Surah ar-Ra’d,

 وَلَقَدْ أَرْسَلْنَا رُسُلًا مِّن قَبْلِكَ وَجَعَلْنَا لَهُمْ أَزْوَاجًا وَذُرِّيَّةً ۚ (38)

“We have sent many messengers before you, and we have given them wives and offspring.”

Thus, if a person is sure that they can fulfill the rights of their spouses, and there is no other valid reason, then they should get married.

One can never be sure not to engage in unlawful relationships. Shaytaan is alway ready to attack us. And, our greatest  enemy is our very own Nafs.

2) It will be permissible to marry a such a woman. What you have been told is incorrect.

References

(ويسن مؤكدا حالة الاعتدال) وهو الأصح قال – عليه الصلاة والسلام – «النكاح سنتي فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني (مجمع الأنهر في شرح ملتقى الأبحر (1/ 316)

(و) يكون (سنة) مؤكدة في الأصح فيأثم بتركه ويثاب إن نوى تحصينا وولدا (حال الاعتدال) أي القدرة على وطء ومهر ونفق (الدر المختار (3/ 7)

(قوله: سنة مؤكدة في الأصح) وهو محمل القول بالاستحباب وكثيرا ما يتساهل في إطلاق المستحب على السنة وقيل: فرض كفاية، وقيل واجب كفاية وتمامه في الفتح، وقيل واجب عينا ورجحه في النهر كما يأتي قال في البحر ودليل السنية حالة الاعتدال الاقتداء بحاله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – في نفسه ورده على من أراد من أمته التخلي للعبادة كما في الصحيحين ردا بليغا بقوله «فمن رغب عن سنتي فليس مني» كما أوضحه في الفتح. اهـ.

وهو أفضل من الاشتغال بتعلم وتعليم كما في درر البحار وقدمنا أنه أفضل من التخلي للنوافل (قوله: فيأثم بتركه) لأن الصحيح أن ترك المؤكدة مؤثم كما علم في الصلاة بحر، وقدمنا في سنن الصلاة أن اللاحق بتركها إثم يسير وأن المراد الترك مع الإصرار وبهذا فارقت المؤكدة الواجب، وإن كان مقتضى كلام البدائع في الإمامة أنه لا فرق بينهما إلا في العبارة.

(قوله: ويثاب إن نوى تحصينها) أي منع نفسه ونفسها عن الحرام، وكذا لو نوى مجرد الاتباع وامتثال الأمر بخلاف ما لو نوى مجرد قضاء الشهوة واللذة (قوله: أي القدرة على وطء) أي الاعتدال في التوقان أن لا يكون بالمعنى المار في الواجب والفرض وهو شدة الاشتياق، وأن لا يكون في غاية الفتور كالعنين ولذا فسره في شرحه على الملتقى بأن يكون بين الفتور والشوق وزاد المهر والنفقة؛ لأن العجز عنهما يسقط الفرض فيسقط السنية بالأولى، وفي البحر والمراد حالة القدرة على الوطء، والمهر والنفقة مع عدم الخوف من الزنا والجور وترك الفرائض والسنن، فلو لم يقدر على واحد من الثلاثة أو خاف واحدا من الثلاثة أي الأخيرة فليس معتدلا فلا يكون سنة في حقه كما أفاده في البدا (الرد المحتار (3/ 7)

Regarding lying on ones cv

Regarding lying on ones cv

03 May 2018 Ref-No#: 648

As’salamu alaykum
I work for a software firm.I have been offered a project which is testing a software application of a cigarette company.And my job is to test the application and report it to the developers if there is any error.
The other project is a healthcare project where we test the application regarding healthcare but the thing is my manager is asking me to lie on my resume about my experience as the client wants experienced candidates.
Please suggest me what to do.I feel that if I take up the 1st project I will be involved in haraam and if I take up the 2nd one I will be cheating the client but I won’t be harming the society.
Please suggest me as I am really confused.

Jazak allah khair

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

1) By testing the software of the cigarette company, you are not directly involved with anything impermissible. Rather you are merely ensuring that the software is running correctly, which is an indirect assistance to wrong (Sabab Ba’eed).

This job will be Makrooh Tanzeehi (slightly disliked) as it grants the company the ability to continue their impermissible transactions. (Jawahirul Fiqh – Vol.2 Pgs.439-462)

If atleast 50% or more of the Tabacco company’s earnings are Halal, the money which they give to you as remuneration will be lawful. (Ahsan al-Fatawa Vol.7 Pg.329)

 

2) One of the salient characteristics of a Muslim is to be honest and truthful. It does not befit a Muslim to speak lies and cheat. The Ahadith explain lies and treachery as the the qualities of a hypocrite. Several other punishments have been narrated in the Ahadith for the one who is dishonest.

Secondly, as Muslims, we have the firm conviction that our sustenance comes only from Allah. If we are truthful, Allah will not deprive us of our earning. Rather, Allah will bless us with our sustenence in a more dignified way.

Furthermore, by being truthful and honest, not only will we earn our sustenance, but it can be a means of us earning Jannah.

Nabi (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) said,

عن أبي سعيد : عن النبي صلى الله عليه و سلم قال التاجر الصدوق الأمين مع النبيين والصديقين والشهداء (اخرجه الترمذي)

“A truthful, honest businessman will be with the Messengers, Siddiqeen and martyrs (in the hereafter).”  (Sunan Tirmidhi)

Nevertheless, our honourable teacher, Mufti Ebrahim Desai Sahib has ruled:

“The issue of the earning being halaal with a fraud degree depends on the service provided.

If such a person correctly and appropriately provided the service, his income in lieu of the service will be halaal. The sin of speaking lies and fraudulently obtaining a degree (or experience) is a different issue.” (Contemporary Fatawa, Vol. 1, Pg. 34,36)

References

مُسْلِمٌ آجَرَ نَفْسَهُ من مَجُوسِيٍّ لِيُوقِدَ له النَّارَ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ كَذَا في الْخُلَاصَةِ

(الفتاوي الهندية (٤ / ٤٥٠)

(قوله وجاز تعمير كنيسة) قال في الخانية: ولو آجر نفسه ليعمل في الكنيسة ويعمرها لا بأس به لأنه لا معصية في عين العمل
(رد المحتار  (٦ / ٣٩١)

Divorce in Future Tense

Divorce in Future Tense

02 May 2018 Ref-No#: 643

Slam sir i am a 27 yrs old married women…i want to know that me and my husband had a conflict during which i said that tomorrow my parents will come and will get my divorce from you compellingly…and he said will then i have to come soon from duty ?
i said why?then he said coz i will have to give u that’s y and i said what?and he said talaq…
then after some minutes i said i will never live in ur house and will go to my parents home…and he replied that u r free from me its upto you if you want to live here or go away…then he made physical relation with me but next morning again we quarreled and again i said that i will never live in this house and will go to my parents home forever and he again said the same words that is” u r free from me its upto you if you want to live here or go away its ur choice…
i want to know that have have this conversation broken our nikkah and if so then what can we do to reconciliation.. i m so much in stress plz help me…
…JAZAKALLAH…

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Firstly, we should always be mindful of what we utter. Sometimes, we can say something which might seem insignificant, yet it can be a means of disrupting our entire lives. Therefore, we should think alot before we speak anything, especially at the time of anger or during an argument/quarrel. From your query, it seems that you were the one who initiated the subject of divorce. You then clearly state at the end that this is causing you to stress.

Thus, In future you should be careful of what you ask for, if that is not what you really want.

The ruling of your marriage will depend on the exact words spoken. We understand from the question that you have translated the words of uttered by your husband into English. In the first instance, if he really did use the future tense (WILL have to give you), then no divorce will take place.

In the second and third instance, he gave the choice of divorce to you. The divorce will only fall if the following two conditions were fulfilled:

1) The husband made the intention of divorce,

2) In that very sitting, you made the decisiom of choosing divorce.

If after the husband uttered those statements, you did not choose the divorce, no divorce will take place.

If there are Ulama in your area, we suggest that you refer this issue to them, and they will advise the best way forward.

References

باب تفويض الطلاق – وإذا قال لامرأته اختاري ينوي بذلك الطلاق أو قال لها طلقي نفسك فلها أن تطلق نفسها ما دامت في مجلسها ذلك فإن قامت منه أو أخذت في عمل آخر خرج الأمر من يدها لأن المخيرة لها المجلس بإجماع الصحابة رضي الله عنهم أجمعين ولأنه تمليك الفعل منها والتمليكات تقتضي جوابا في المجلس كما في البيع لأن ساعات المجلس اعتبرت ساعة واحدة إلا أن المجلس تارة يتبدل بالذهاب عنه وتارة بالاشتغال بعمل آخر إذ مجلس الأكل غير مجلس المناظرة ومجلس القتال غيرهما ويبطل خيارها بمجرد القيام لأنه دليل الإعراض بخلاف الصرف والسلم لأن المفسد هناك الافتراق من غير قبض ثم لا بد من النية في قوله اختاري لأنه يحتمل تخييرها في نفسها ويحتمل تخييرها في تصرف آخر غيره فإن اختارت نفسها في قوله اختاري كانت واحدة بائنة والقياس أن لا يقع بهذا شيئ وإن نوى الزوج الطلاق لأنه لا يملك الإيقاع بهذا اللفظ فلا يملك التفويض إلى غيره إلا أنا استحسناه لإجماع الصحابة رضي الله عنهم ولأنه بسبيل من أن يستديم نكاحها أو يفارقها فيملك إقامتها مقام نفسه في حق هذا الحكم ثم الواقع بها بائن لأن اختيارها نفسها بثبوت اختصاصها بها وذلك في البائن ولا يكون ثلاثا وإن نوى الزوج ذلك لأن الاختيار لا يتنوع بخلاف الإبانة لأن البينونة قد تتنوع قال ولا بد من ذكر النفس في كلامه أو في كلامها حتى لو قال لها اختاري فقالت قد اخترت فهو باطل لأنه عرف بالإجماع وهو في المفسرة من أحد الجانبين ولأن المبهم لا يصلح تفسيرا للمبهم الآخر ولا تعيين مع الإبهام ولو قال لها اختاري نفسك فقالت اخترت تقع واحدة بائنة لأن كلامه مفسر وكلامها خرج جوابا له فيتضمن إعادته وكذا لو قال اختاري اختيارة فقالت اخترت لأن الهاء في الاختيارة تنبئ عن الاتحاد والانفراد واختيارها نفسها هو الذي يتحد مرة ويتعدد أخرى فصار مفسرا من جانبه (هداية 3/376)