Going through Halalah due to child

23 Dec 2020 Ref-No#: 2537

It happened before 10 years back and we have children. In a quarrelling I asked my wife to go from my home if she is not happy. She said that if you give talaq in written then I will go. Again I said due to lack of knowledge to my wife that you also can give. Again she said if you give talaq in written then I will go. In extreme anger I said if you want to go when I give you talaq in written then I wrotee talaq talaq but it comes in mind that writing two times will not complete a talaq so I write talaq again. Now total talaq talaq talaq but I did not handover to her but just kept on table and she was at bed and I came out. But in that day she did not go anywhere and stayed at home. Due to lack of knowledge we lived together still and children. Pls look into the matter whether 3 talaq occurred or may consider as conditional talaq if she did not go as per my condition that if you want to go when I give you in written talaq and she also told to give or handover but I did not give her directly just put on table with the above condition. It is question of our life because it is not new one so we cannot inform to our family. If talaq happened can we live together for our child in seperate rooms without relation but helping each other otherwise there is no way because we have child. What is the possible way to live together. Can we go preplan halalah with a man having same situation with me.

Answer

Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Ignorance is not a valid reason for rendering a divorce invalid. Since you wrote the three divorces with clear intentions, all three divorces have taken place.  Your wife fell out of your wedlock the moment you wrote the divorces. It is immaterial that you did not hand it over to her.

Living in a seperate room will not solve the issue, since she is now an absolute stranger from you. She needs to cover herself fully from you, and it is not permissible for you to look at her.

The only way to get together is to observe Halalah. You may follow the following Fatwaa of our respected teacher, Mufti Ebrahim Desai:

http://askimam.org/public/question_detail/37500

References

الكتابة على نوعين: مرسومة وغير مرسومة، ونعني بالمرسومة أن يكون مصدرا ومعنونا مثل ما يكتب إلى الغائب. وغير المرسومة أن لا يكون مصدرا ومعنونا، وهو على وجهين: مستبينة وغير مستبينة، فالمستبينة ما يكتب على الصحيفة والحائط والأرض على وجه يمكن فهمه وقراءته. وغير المستبينة ما يكتب على الهواء والماء وشيء لا يمكنه فهمه وقراءته. ففي غير المستبينة لا يقع الطلاق وإن نوى، وإن كانت مستبينة لكنها غير مرسومة إن نوى الطلاق وإلا لا، وإن كانت مرسومة يقع الطلاق نوى أو لم ينوثم المرسومة لا تخلو إما أن أرسل الطلاق بأن كتب: أما بعد فأنت طالق، فكما كتب هذا يقع الطلاق وتلزمها العدة من وقت الكتابة  (رد المحتار – 3 / 246)

وإن كان الطلاق ثلاثا في الحرة أو ثنتين في الأمة لم تحل له حتى تنكح زوجا غيره نكاحا صحيحا ويدخل بها ثم يطلقها أو يموت عنها (الهداية 2/ 257)