Stress of committing a sin and breaking many promises
Assalamoaliukum, I am a boy of 19 years and I have, in vigour, made 3 billion promises to Allah by saying,” I promise ya Allah, I will not do a specific sin again.” Now, I keep feeling very stressed whenever this promise comes to my mind (which is almost always) as I really fear I will do that sin again (as I already have made and broken many promises for this specific sin) and I fear I will go hell for committing this massive bad deed. I also prayed to Allah after the 3 billion promises to make them real (as I knew only 1 promise is made on a specific sin) so their effect is real and I give up that sin. In the past I have also broken many promises I’ve made to Allah like this as I make promises about my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) temptations and sometimes I give in to those (but I always repent after breaking a promise to not break a promise or make a promise again). Do I have to give Kaffara for all those promises? Keep in mind, I am a 19 year old boy with over-protective and controlling parents and I dont think they will let me give food or clothes to poor people (also, I have only about $300 with me) or let me fast (but is there an option of fasting for me as they might let me fast after my exams). Also, I have my very important exams in the next month which I already have failed once. I think I am already getting slowed because of the stress of the 3 billion promises (combined with my OCD) and I fear that they might futher hinder my studying progress for my exams. Please, tell me if my promises are real and how to get over their stress and how to get over the fear of committing the sin. Also, please answer my previous question about the kaffara of my promises.
Answer
Wa’alaykum as Salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
We are responsible for everything that we utter, and we have to bear the consequences of our actions. Therefore, we need to be careful on what we say, and should think carefully before we can utter anything.
The Kaffarah is clearly mentioned in the Quran, in verse 89 of Surah Maaidah. Since you presently do not have the financial means to pay as Kaffarah, and you do have the option of fasting, you should fast three days for every promise broken. Keep as many fasts as you can, and insha Allah, Allah will forgive you.
In future, always be careful on what you say, and try to stay away from those sins which you already promised not to do.
References
{لَا يُؤَاخِذُكُمُ اللَّهُ بِاللَّغْوِ فِي أَيْمَانِكُمْ وَلَكِنْ يُؤَاخِذُكُمْ بِمَا عَقَّدْتُمُ الْأَيْمَانَ فَكَفَّارَتُهُ إِطْعَامُ عَشَرَةِ مَسَاكِينَ مِنْ أَوْسَطِ مَا تُطْعِمُونَ أَهْلِيكُمْ أَوْ كِسْوَتُهُمْ أَوْ تَحْرِيرُ رَقَبَةٍ فَمَنْ لَمْ يَجِدْ فَصِيَامُ ثَلَاثَةِ أَيَّامٍ ذَلِكَ كَفَّارَةُ أَيْمَانِكُمْ إِذَا حَلَفْتُمْ وَاحْفَظُوا أَيْمَانَكُمْ كَذَلِكَ يُبَيِّنُ اللَّهُ لَكُمْ آيَاتِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ}. (سورة المائدة ، 89)
تَأْخِيرُ كَفَّارَةِ الْيَمِينِ: – ذَهَبَ جُمْهُورُ الْعُلَمَاءِ إِلَى أَنَّهُ لاَ يَجُوزُ تَأْخِيرُ كَفَّارَةِ الْيَمِينِ، وَأَنَّهَا تَجِبُ بِالْحِنْثِ عَلَى الْفَوْرِ (الموسوعة الفقهية الكويتية، ١٠ / ١٣)